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Ezer and Attachment: You Call, I Come

Ezer and Attachment: You Call, I Come

I am amazed at just how much of God’s design is reflected in what scientists are learning about relationships, behavior, healing, and attachment.

We know from scientific and behavioral studies that attachment helps to form the foundation for a child’s future relationships and learning. In order to develop trust and a foundation for secure, healthy attachment in the first year of life, our child needs to know that when he or she expresses a need, we meet that need; in essence: “When you cry, I come.”

In order for the infant to learn this, the parent needs to be attentive, responding to baby’s needs, such as hunger, diaper changes, stimulation, nurture, healthy touch, and eye contact. In doing this consistently, our babies learn that their needs are going to be met, so they learn trust. That’s the developmental task of the first year of life.

This foundation for attachment is actually designed by God, and we can see it clearly demonstrated through His character! My pastor’s wife recently taught on Genesis 2 and unpacked the word Ezer, which is the Hebrew word often translated as “Helpmeet” in relation to Eve. In Genesis chapter 2, God creates the woman as an Ezer to Adam. In the original Hebrew, Ezer means to help, to rescue, strength, & one commentary says: one who comes running when people cry out for help!! It’s the image of a warrior dropping everything to run to someone’s aid.

The Bible refers to the woman as Ezer twice…however, 16 times in the Old Testament the Bible refers to God as Israel’s Ezer…their help, their strength…essentially, when they called, He came!! God Himself models the foundation for healthy attachment to His people (When you call, I come)! 

As image-bearers of God and His character, we are wired for this too…You cry, I come!! Be encouraged today to go ahead and use your God-given wiring and feel free to rock those babies to sleep, to give lots of healthy touch, to talk gently to them, to hold and snuggle them, to gaze into their precious eyes…and, perhaps most importantly, to respond when they cry out for help (“You call, I come”). God Himself set the example for us in how to build a foundation for healthy attachment.


For further information on attachment and why it matters, this video from Dr. Karen Purvis beautifully explains the importance of attachment.

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