“What do I do now? How do I even begin to process this?”

It’s the question so many ask in the wake of trauma, crisis, or overwhelming loss.

Whether it’s a late-night phone call, a shocking diagnosis, a painful memory from the past, or a moment of deep helplessness—you’re left feeling disoriented, numb, and unsure how to move forward. As a Christian counselor, I’ve walked alongside many who ask the same question.

The truth is, trauma scatters the brain. It fragments memory. And often, it leaves us stuck in fear, shame, or confusion. That’s why we need gentle tools to help us begin making sense of what happened.

Recently, I attended a conference where a women’s ministry leader shared a simple yet powerful framework she uses with those walking through deep pain—tools she learned through the Trauma Healing Institute, and applies to women she works with on the mission field. 

These same questions are super effective for anyone struggling to process emotional wounds and make meaning of hard experiences.

I also added one additional question I often use with clients in a faith-based counseling setting. Together, these four questions can be a lifeline.

The 4 Questions That Help Bring Clarity to a Traumatized Brain:

1. What happened?

If this is a past memory, ask: What do you remember? Getting the facts helps ground us. It can be messy and disjointed, but naming the event—even in pieces—helps shift trauma from chaos into clarity.

2. How did you feel?

There’s power in naming our emotions. This is not the time to justify, minimize, or shame yourself. Naming what you felt helps calm the brain (“name it to tame it”).

3. What was the hardest part for you?

This question helps uncover the core fear or pain. Was it feeling abandoned? Rejected? Powerless? Alone? Shamed? Naming that root wound is often where the deep healing begins.

4. God, what do You want me to know about this?

We often get stuck in the “why?”—but God may be inviting us to ask “what?” What truth does He want to speak into the pain? What lies has the enemy tried to plant in the aftermath of your hurt? This question opens the door to healing perspective.

Why This Matters:

When we don’t process trauma, it lingers in our bodies and minds. We may react to present situations as if we’re still in the past. 

These four questions are not a magic fix—but they are a gentle, trauma-informed tool that can help begin the healing process and restore clarity, self-awareness, and spiritual connection.

Final Word

If you or someone you love is walking through something hard, I pray this blog and these questions bring clarity and comfort. Don’t rush the process. Healing is a journey - and God is available and ready to help when you ask Him.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here