Life feels loud right now, doesn’t it?

We’re constantly plugged in—phones buzzing, emails piling up, news cycling 24/7, and our minds running in every direction. Add in the emotional highs and lows of everyday life, and it’s no wonder many of us feel like we’re on a roller coaster with no brakes.

As a Christian counselor and coach, I hear this all the time: “I just want to feel calm.”

And the good news is—you can. Even better? You were created with the ability to calm and quiet your soul. God wired it into you.

Let’s talk about how.

What Is Self-Soothing—and Why Does It Matter?

In the mental health world, self-soothing is the skill of calming your body and mind after an emotionally intense moment. Think of it as emotional regulation—bringing your brain and body back to a place of calm after feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, or even overly excited.

But here’s the thing: True calm doesn’t come from just breathing techniques or distraction (though those can help temporarily). Lasting peace comes from the presence of God.

Psalm 131:2 says: “I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child with its mother.”

That’s self-soothing. And it’s Biblical. We don’t have to stay stuck in emotional chaos—we can choose to slow down, breathe, and quiet ourselves.

Why We're Struggling to Find Rest

We live in a culture that’s constantly overstimulated. With access to screens, social media, and nonstop noise, our nervous systems are rarely given the chance to settle.

When stress hits, we tend to reach for quick fixes:

• Scrolling through Instagram
• Eating comfort food in the pantry
• Online shopping sprees
• Binging TV or self-help hacks on YouTube

These aren't always bad—but they’re often cheap substitutes for the deep rest our souls crave.

Psalm 62:1 says: “My soul finds rest in God alone.”

So how do we get back to that?

A Christian Tool for Self-Soothing: The Immanuel Approach

There’s a simple, powerful practice I teach my coaching clients that helps them train their brain and soul to self-soothe with God’s presence. It’s based on the work of Christian psychologist and theologian Dr. Jim Wilder and is called:

🧠 The Immanuel Approach

It’s a two-step exercise you can use anytime to calm your mind and reconnect with Jesus.

Step 1: Start with Gratitude

Think of a true joy memory—a moment where you felt safe, loved, grateful, or connected. Maybe it’s the sound of your child’s laughter, a peaceful morning walk, or a time you felt God’s presence clearly.

Take a minute to sit with that memory. Let your body and mind experience the calm that comes with it.

This isn’t just a warm-fuzzy exercise—gratitude actually helps your brain shift into a regulated, peaceful state. (Bonus: Psalm 100:4 tells us we enter His presence with thanksgiving!)

Step 2: Ask Jesus, “What’s on Your Mind for Me Today?”

Once you’re in a state of gratitude, simply ask Jesus what He wants you to know right now.

It might feel awkward at first—we’re used to talking at God, not always with Him. But God is a talker! He loves to share with His children. Take a few minutes to be still, listen, and write down whatever comes to mind.

When to Use This Tool

This isn’t just a “quiet time” practice—it’s a daily tool for emotional regulation.

Try using it:

• During your morning devotional to center your heart
• After a stressful moment to calm your nervous system
• Before bed when your thoughts won’t slow down
• In a moment of joy to stay grounded in gratitude
• When anxiety or anger starts rising

The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. Like any skill, self-soothing takes reps—but this one’s rooted in the Holy Spirit, not hustle.

Final Encouragement

You don’t have to be ruled by your emotions. You don’t have to stay in chaos or chase quick comforts that never satisfy.

Your soul was designed to find rest in God—and He’s made a way for you to access it.

So next time your heart is racing or your thoughts are swirling, try this:

Pause. Breathe. Remember a joy moment. Invite Jesus in.

👣 Next Steps

Want more practical tools for emotional and spiritual health? 

Stay tuned for the next post, check out the podcast...

Or book a Christian Coaching or Counseling session if you’re ready for deeper, personalized support.

💬 Let’s Connect

What’s one way you’ve experienced God’s peace recently? I’d love to hear—drop a comment or message me Hello@ShelleySpence.com